Maybe You’re Like Me…


Maybe you and I have something in common… I’m a little bit insecure. Truth be told, I’ve been working on publishing this blog for a long time now. Not this particular article, but just the idea of this blog. I begin to write something, then I don’t know how to wrap it up or I wind up not thinking it makes much sense…all in all, if I’m totally honest…what I’m really worried about is whether anyone is gonna like it. And that worries me. In the last few years, I have become much more comfortable with whom I am, yet I find that I still really fight this battle of insecurity and acceptance.

It’s important for me to feel accepted. The problem with all of this is that someone with acceptance issues never believes that anyone really does accept them, and they live in constant fear of rejection from those with whom they have relationships. So they never let anyone see  the real “them,” because if they did, they may summarily reject them (at least that’s the fear). I know that this is nothing new. I know that Dr. Phil, Oprah, and countless others have dealt with this subject countless times. So why do I write this? Because we can change. I write this to offer hope, especially to those that wouldn’t dare even admit the truth of this in their own lives…barely able to even admit it to themselves. I write this to tell as many people as I possibly can that we are not the sum of our understandings….we are much more. We are not the result of our past experiences….we are much, much more.  We are not simply imperfect people in a fallen, broken world. we are the bearers of the image of the Architect, Artist, and Engineer of this existence. I think that part of the issue with all of our dysfunction and brokenness is not understanding that we are meant for so much more than we can even begin to fathom. Our existence is not intended for temporal pursuits such as wealth, pleasure, and comfort. Those are very much secondary (if that much). The Westminster larger catechism wisely states that the “chief and highest end of man” is to glorify God and to fully enjoy Him forever.” (My emphasis added)… I always remember the “glorify” part, and often will recall the “enjoy Him forever” part…but that word, “fully,” has recently jumped out at me. What does that really entail? I think it means that I choose to trust Him with all areas of my life and worldview, not just those pertaining to salvation. It means that I begin to find my identity in His creation of me and in His invasion of my soul. Yes, I said invasion. To many that may seem like a word with a negative connotation, but all in all, He pursued me, He quickened me, and He made me alive. For His own purposes and by His own choice in love, He invaded me and I am thankful for that. I don’t have to understand it. The answer to the question of whether He chooses us or we choose Him is “yes,” and that’s where I leave it. So when I start worrying about acceptance… I’m accepted. When I start worrying about rejection… I never will be. The more I allow myself to be content with acceptance from my Creator, the less I’m concerned with rejection from individuals in this temporal existence. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that we should be stoic or even uncaring. I just mean that we should be hopeful and unchained. We are unbound by the facts of our past and the circumstances of the present. We have been set free by a God whose love could only be described in our estimation as maniacal or scandalous. Max Lucado said we have a God of “furious love”…I love that…

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe every time you have a bad day or an awkward conversation you begin to worry about how those relationships are gonna look tomorrow. Maybe we can both learn how we are made for so much more than the worries and anxieties that entangle and suffocate us. Maybe we can both learn more and more every day of how we are loved regardless of the real “us.” And the love with which we are loved knows no boundaries and has no limitation. It is unquantifiable. It is absolute. It is undefinable. It is insane. God’s love for us is raw passion in the purest sense. His blood testified to this and His empty tomb tells the greatest part of the story…it ain’t over yet…as a matter of fact…we haven’t begun to understand His love, passion, and acceptance.

If you’re like me then you’re acceptable. And not only that, but you’re desirable. And we are such because that’s what He made us to be.


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17 comments on “Maybe You’re Like Me…

  1. Barry Fisher says:

    Dude I Like It!

  2. BobMoonMan says:

    Seems to me that insecurity/acceptance is best viewed through the Gospel filter. If insecurity and acceptance issue are rooted in the fear that someone…anyone…who really knows us will reject us, then consider that in light of the Gospel.

    No one knows us better than our Creator. He knows us better than even we know ourselves. The Gospel says that He knows us…and chooses to accept up. Take the concept that Almighty God does indeed initiate this infinitely unequal relationship and fully connects it through the death of His own Son. While we were yet sinners….

    So what can we ad God’s children do to earn God’s rejection? BANG! nuttin! I really like the Gospel! It is life and godliness for all who believe!!!!!!!!!!

    The more I wallow in God’s acceptance of me because of His redemption of me, I am overwhelmed with the notion that I am in great standing with the One who knows me best! And my acceptance has nothing to do with my perfection, but His forgiveness and redemption.

    So, now what if my friend doesn’t understand me??? I can love him and continue on in my relationship with my God, the one who loves me most. Jesus modeled this for us perfectly, of course! Rejected by men, misunderstood by the ones who knew him best, and crucified by those claiming to know God the best.

    I continue to be pulled back to the true understanding and application of the Gospel for all of life. Maybe it says something to this issue as well. What do you think??

    • steve c. says:

      i totally agree with you, bob. i think you have gotten to the heart of the matter. the Gospel is beautiful in the sense of how it is making us more and more “human.” through the Gospel we made into the new man, the new humanity. we are brought into new life… the life that God desired for us originally in a sense. because of this, the fallenness and brokenness of this world and its relational entropy have no hold on us. we are literally unbound by the chains of this world.

  3. Jay DePoy says:

    Great words, Steve. Your insights resonate with me, as you know, in a deep way. We are very much alike… both brave and terrified in the same breath.

  4. Annabannanah10 says:

    good??? totally! it made the wheels in my head turn trying to under stand the words that u use. but… in my opinion, it was realy good.

    love u daddy,

  5. Amazing Steve. Really hit home for me in this trying time I am going through. Thank you!!!!! Food for the soul right here!

  6. MarcellusWallace says:

    This is what it what it would sound like if Stephen Hawking told you what “the Shack” was about! Kidding! Loved it. Being in a love affair with Christ, awesome, knowing who we truly are in Yeshua=liberating, be content with who we truly are…trickiest thing ever! God invites us to find that out about ourselves.

  7. Brad Mehder says:

    Glad to see that you are blogging. If you have any questions about using WordPress, let me know. I’m always here to help. I can show you some things you may not have noticed too. Listen to me… I sound cocky. But, WordPress is my bread and butter. So, hit me up.

    It’s amazing how this article could feel like it was written especially for whoever happens to read it. Acceptance is something that a lot of us struggle with. But, when we are dealing with it ourselves, it seems like we are the only one going through it. Then, the vicious cycle begins. Just hearing that others go through it, is a great help to everyone, I think.

    Keep the posts coming.

  8. LeRoy says:

    man you hit the nail on the head with all that. and you know that as we have talked in the past its true. we have to give that fear of rejection up to God as he wants it and wants to get rid of it. the longer me hold on to that the more it will continue to hold us down and back from what God wants us to really be and do. along with rejection is the feeling of failure. not being able to meet the so called expectations of others much less our own expectations. we set goals for us to reach and if we dont make it we feel that we have failed ourself and our Father. i know that i set out things i want to do to please the Father and when i fail i feel rejected because i could not meet his way. i know that God forgives us past, present, and future but its so hard to get over the feeling of failing the Almighty God and Father. some day i hope that this will no longer be and issue in anyones life muchless my own life. thx Steve love you Bro.

  9. Steve Harris says:

    Steve, I think we can all identify with the reality of feeling insecure. The sad thing is that if we understand who we are in Christ, there is no reason for all of the little impulsive things we do and say that scream “insecurity.” Let’s just slow down and quit trying to impress people with all of our empty words and talking over each other. Let’s meditate on what Christ has done for us and who He has called us to be, sons and daughters of the King of the Universe. Prince Charles doesn’t look like he is trying to prove anything to anyone. He knows who he is, and he is just the prince of a little island called England. Your Daddy owns the universe. So, we can relax, enjoy life, stop being people pleasers, stop talking so much and start listening more. I am preaching to myself here. If this means anything to you, it is incidental.
    Love you bro.
    Steve Harris

  10. Ryan Bryant says:

    thank you so very much for this Steve…besides the fact that im blessed to have met and conversed with you, in what little time we have known each other, I now feel like Ive known you for a while.
    I completely identify and connect with you on all aspects of this blog..I to am uncomfortable in my own skin..I read this every day to remind myself that I matter..and thats all I want…Is to matter…thank you brother..

  11. Elizabeth S says:

    As do i. But, by the Grace of God I am slowly overcoming!

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