I was speaking to a couple people recently and we were talking about pop culture. The subject of the various celebrity young ladies came up (Miley, Brittany, Lindsay, Paris, Kim, etc.) and a statement was made that struck me. The statement was in reference to one of these ladies in particular, and it was this: “She’s trash.” As I said, the statement struck me…and I responded by saying, “Well, I think she does trashy things…but she’s not trash.” I don’t know that the point landed and I also don’t think these people were trying to be cruel…but sometimes…mean to or not…humans can be cruel. Then I began to wonder about the behavior of these ladies…and I started to question if they would call themselves trash…if they were really, really honest. I guess what I want to know is how they feel about themselves.
Setting aside any kind of moral code that I, as a Christian, may want to impose on their situation…I still wonder why they would demean themselves or allow others to do it…because even if someone doesn’t believe in the Bible’s standards of morality, we all understand and recognize when someone is being exploited…and the celebrity culture exploits its own daily…devouring them…and we sit back and watch…not always catching on to the battle that is going on the souls of these individuals.
It’s very unfortunate that ladies in our society are exploited…and treated like trash…to be thrown out on the street when we are finished with them. I have two daughters and the idea of them experiencing anything demeaning or degrading sets me into a rage in my heart. The same goes for my wife, mother, sister, stepmother, my three stepsisters (whom I refer to simply and affectionately as sisters), and all the other women about which I care (truthfully, this is not limited to women, although that is the focus of my current thought process).
However, what I think is more unfortunate is that these lady celebrities may well think of themselves in this fashion…they may have the opinion about that they are trash…and therefore they act trashy…and show that their level of self-respect is quite pitiful. Many of them have had drug problems and legal trouble…and we look at these issues as if they are the problem. But I think perhaps these things are symptoms of the bigger problem…which is how they think of themselves…whether or not they have any real sense of self-worth…and perhaps these symptoms are nothing more than self-medication…trying to kill the pain of feeling like garbage.
How we view ourselves…our worth…finds deep roots within how our parents treated us and related to us. Primarily, this usually relates more to the father’s relationship than anything else. If they didn’t feel valued by their fathers, they tend to act as if they have no value. If they didn’t get appropriate or adequate attention from their fathers then they tend to seek attention from men, even if it’s inappropriate…sometimes seeking out the inappropriate attention intentionally. But, there’s another side to this. Even though ingrained parental relationships have long-long-term effects…the greater understanding has to do with intrinsic value…which is the value something has simply because of what it is.
If I were to find a diamond in the rough…this would mean that it is not polished or cleaned. It’s in its natural state…as it existed before it was discovered. For it to look like a diamond, I would have to do all kinds of work to its appearance…but it will still be what it started out as…a diamond…and diamonds are extremely precious. They demand a high price…and are useful for so many different applications…and they are in demand as decoration for humanity as well. Whatever the diamond is found in…it’s still valuable. It’s a diamond. It never stops being a diamond….it never has to earn value…it is valuable because it’s a diamond.
My hope for you, ladies, is that you see yourself as highly valuable…and you are such not because of your appearance….your makeup…your clothing….your hairstyle…your weight…or your augmentation. You are valuable because you are made in the Image of the Creator who has shown some of His artistic brilliance in the way he made you so beautiful. You are valuable because that’s what you are. You are valuable because He created you that way…no matter what your various characteristics are. You are valuable whether or not men treat you as such. You are valuable without taking pictures of yourself in compromising situations. You are valuable without performing anything.
I am sorry that we, as men, have failed to protect you from…well…ourselves. I am sorry that we have made you feel like you are less than. I am sorry that we have put standards that no lady is supposed to meet…standards that are ultimately superficial, artificial, unnatural. I am sorry that so many of us have used, abandoned, and left curled up…crying…hurting in the depths of your soul…making you feel like you are worth nothing.
My wife is aging so beautifully…and she’s not a teenager anymore…and I don’t want her to be one. I want her to look her age…because it’s beautiful and it’s a part of her process of life. She doesn’t need for anything to be hidden or fixed or manipulated…because there is nothing wrong with her. And the same goes for all others.
Male or female…we are all created wonderfully and beautifully.
I pray that these ladies in our pop culture discover the value they have from their creator…not their celebrators…because the masses are fickle…and the ones that told them they needed to have surgery are the same ones that make fun of them after they do…the ones that cheer them on as they party their life into oblivion are the same ones that throw them out on the curb when finished using them.
I know you’ve heard this 1000 times before…but you are valuable….you are beautiful…and even when you or I act trashy…we are not now, have never been, nor will we ever be anything remotely close to trash.