Precious

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People can drive us nuts. They can get on our last nerve…making us want to…well you know what I mean. (And by the way…we are people too.)

My wife sometimes drives me crazy. She has this habit we used to argue about, but have just both decided to let go (which translates to “she won”).  We have a shower curtain, instead of a door. When she takes a shower, she aims the head straight back, and then when I get ready to take mine, and turn the water on to let it get warm…often times the water comes out the back, drenching the floor. I know, I know…I’ve since learned to check it before I turn it on, but that used to bug me to no end. I actually threatened to get one of those heads that always aims straight down so she couldn’t do it anymore…(trust me…I know how petty this sounds…just keep reading). 

When you get married, no one generally tells you that you are going to drive each other nuts. No one tells you that after all the magic is over, there will be arguments over underwear in the floor, shower head angles, what we watch on TV, or how much salt and pepper you add to your food after your significant other has spent time perfectly seasoning it…and even if they do tell you that…you don’t believe it…because you are “so in-love.” Truth be told, those can be the real areas of tension in marriage. The little things cause arguments which cause resentment which causes bitterness which causes….a host of other long-term issues. Ultimately, our lives are too short and our relationships too important to allow such petty issues to drive wedges between us.

A few years ago I lost a good friend. He was much older than me, but he truly had captured my heart. He was genuine and loving. He had a pretty serious heart problem, yet ironically he had the biggest heart of all. Once I jokingly was speaking to his wife about how our spouses drive us crazy. I said something like, “He’s a good guy. I’m sure he drives you crazy as married people do, but I really love him.” She said, “No, he’s truly always been so precious….” Now, I know they had their arguments…and surely even their big fights…but she chose not even to  give those a place in her memory. She only chose to remember him as precious. I’ll never forget the day he passed. I was in the hospital room with the family, and as he expired, she leaned down, and kissed his forehead with such tenderness that my heart was totally shattered, yet it was overflowing with joy at the same time. It made me really start to evaluate the way I treat those I care about…especially the love of my life.

Precious, she said…the word echoes in my soul…

Funny thing about that is that he didn’t earn that status. He was human…flawed…and I’m sure at times he was difficult. But he was precious…to her…because she held him in that regard. That’s the thing about value…it’s all dependent upon the one that is holding or desiring the object. To some, he may have been difficult, but to her…precious.

One day, I was cleaning out the shower drain, because it was totally clogged (the shower does seem to be a central point of contention, doesn’t?), and I pulled out enough of her hair to make a rug. She has a very fine and beautiful head of hair, but there’s a TON of it. As I cleared the clog and pulled it out of the drain, I just stared at the mass of hair and thought about my friend’s wife…precious…then it hit me. There may come a day when I don’t have any more clogs to clear. There may come a day when the shower head never gets moved. There may come a day that no one changes the settings of things in the car…and that will be a very lonely day. That will be a day that I will wish I had a clogged shower drain, a wet bathroom floor, and the steering wheel tilted all the way up to the windshield. 

She is precious to me. She is my soul mate. I drive her crazy…CRAZY. There aren’t enough blogs out there to contain what she could say about living with me. I’ve been told that I can be quite maddening. She’s a saint. She’s my lady. She’s beautiful…and quite the looker as well. We’ve been married almost 17 years and we have some pretty heated moments…and some day, one of us will miss those things.

There are people in our lives that drive us nuts…they may be our children, or they may be our spouses…they could be friends, siblings, parents, or coworkers. They may even be our pastors…but we should take time to evaluate life…reflect on how fortunate we are to be surrounded by people that are also of great blessing to us.

The Apostle Paul had a falling out with John Mark (who wrote the Gospel of Mark). I’m not sure what exactly happened, but during one of their missionary journeys Mark turned back to return home and he and Paul parted ways (Acts 15…it describes a falling out between Paul and Barnarbas over Mark, Barnabas’ nephew). However, interestingly enough, right before he was executed Paul wrote a letter to his “son” in the ministry, Timothy. He told him to bring him a few things and to bring Mark along too (2 Timothy 4:11). I’m not sure when or how, but at some point, they patched things up…because in the end…we’re all flawed…and we all need grace…and we all need room to be human.

Precious. My wife is precious…not because she is so good…but because God has shown me to think of her that way. Nothing she can do can change that because nothing she has done has earned it. She’s precious to me because that’s who I am…that’s what I’ve chosen. How much change could we effect in the world if we all decided to think of everyone this way…whether they deserve it or not…? And…remember…that’s the essence of grace…getting what we don’t deserve…just like we got from Him…grace.

Amy, I do now and will forever love you…my precious.

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10 comments on “Precious

  1. Bob Moon says:

    As usual, transparent…honest…piercing

  2. Elizabeth S says:

    She is precious. I feel very honored to know you both. By the way, you have brought me to tears! 🙂

  3. Thank you for sharing so honestly. This is a great reminder to ask God to give us His eyes to see those we love. I’m struggling right now to find good in my son Joseph. Pray for me that I would view him as precious and not focus on the things that he does that absolutely destroy my tired mind and body.

    You and Amy are so blessed to have each other and your girls are so blessed to watch this love in action.

    • steve c. says:

      You will have my prayers, and the challenge is loving without cause. We have to love out of whom He has made us to be as opposed to loving based on the behaviors of others.

  4. Ken Sausedo says:

    Excellent, Steve! Well done!

  5. Anna Conard says:

    Whoa… that’s really sweet.

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